chrissielicious

This blog has moved

2009-06-30T03:13:07Z

pssst... over here!

http://andsoshepaints.blogspot.com/

:)

I'm a sucker for cartoony "boing!" noises

2008-08-09T05:12:18Z

I think I have watched this video a dozen times now...

'scuse me while I go watch it again!

What I want right now…

2008-08-02T02:02:30Z

… is to be in a booth in a coffee shop somewhere, sipping on a ridiculously expensive coffee with lots of foam, just chatting with T, or T, or A, or any of my close ladies… commiserating about everything going on in our lives right now… having a sounding board for all the garbage floating around in my head… just feeling normal, and in control, and a part of something unconditional.

Insomnia... a series of poorly constructed run-on sentences

2008-06-17T02:08:18Z

The sleep... it is evading me again... there is no logical reason that I can't relax and drift off... I just can't seem to get my body and mind to cooperate and work together towards resting... I'm either physically exhausted, with my mind running through a crowd of thoughts, circling and examining little fragments, listing things to be done, or done differently next time, never settling on a single item, or better yet, the blank space between, to allow my mind to shut down and simply dream...

Or worse, my mind is dull and groggy, but physically I'm wired... full of pent up energy... trying to resist poking this boy over and over as he snores happily in the bed next to me... annoy him and will him awake, so that at least I won't be the only restless body wandering the house alone in the wee hours...

Rising Crust Creamsicle Highlights

2008-06-17T02:06:14Z

In my unpacking and sorting I found an old mixed cd from the end of my first year at Sheridan... I made it one day at Tarable's house (the spring before I moved in) when She, Tina and I were hanging out, eating frozen pizza and colouring each others' hair... we started burning some mixed cd's on Tara's computer, eating creamsicles while our hair processed... we smooshed all of the day's activities together to create the title of our little digital masterpiece...

It was a wonderfully random day that produced an equally random collection of songs:

Watchmen - Stereo
Incubus - Warning
A Perfect Circle - Judith
Depeche Mode - I feel you
Blink 182 - I miss you
Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria
Snake River Conspiracy - Lovesong
Trapt - Still frame
Brand New - Mix tape
Snake River Conspiracy - Somebody hates you
Butthole Surfers - Pepper
Snake River Conspiracy - How soon is now
Brand New - The quiet things that no one ever knows
Boomtown Rats - I don't like Mondays
Elastica - da da da
David Bowie / Queen - Under pressure
Outkast - Bombs over Baghdad
Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama

There are a few goodies on there, and a few choices that I would not necessarily go with now, but it's an interesting snapshot of a 21-year-old me...

Adventures in Moving - part 5

2008-06-17T02:00:44Z

So we are officially owners of the house, but we haven't been able to get into it yet... the previous owners are still there! I'm super annoyed... why are they still there? Grrrrrrrrr....

We spent the day in Guelph, alternating between sitting at Grams' making idle chi chat, and driving around the city aimlessly, awaiting the call to let us know that the house was officially ours, and we could get the keys... and what an exercise in patience and restraint it has been!

We met with the lawyer's clerk this morning at 9 to sign all the final documents, and getting everything squared away, then she told us to hang around the city for a couple of hours, and she would call us by about noon to let us know that everything was signed on the sellers' side and we could get the keys... around 2:45 she finally called, and our excitement was over-flowing, so we raced to her office and got the keys, ready to go to the house, and look around, and check everything, make sure all was right, and basically just jump around squealing like children... at least that was the plan...

So we got to the house around 3:40... and there was a u-haul parked on the lawn... the sellers were still moving out... we were disappointed, but thought we'd give them the benefit of the doubt, and go grab some lunch and see if maybe they were just finishing up, and would be out shortly... I mean, the house was legally ours, and they should be out, right?

We tried calling the lawyer's office to see if there was a different time that we were supposed to officially take possession of the house... but they were not answering... being the long weekend, everyone was gone home early.

So we drove by again at 5:30, and they were still there... then again at 6:40, and the truck had still not moved... we still had a few hours of packing ahead of us, so we couldn't hang around the city all evening waiting for them to leave... we tried our realtor, and she answered, but said there wasn't much she could do... she said she'd call their agent and call us back... but she never called back...

So we decided to leave it... come back to the townhouse and get our last boxes packed, and cross our fingers that they are out of there tonight... We are moving in tomorrow morning, the movers are all set to come at 8am, and we still have to pack up the kitchen, so it's going to be a long night... and I'm feeling really uneasy about what condition the house will be in when we get there... will it be a mess? They did seem to be leaving moving until past the last minute...

arg... I'm off to pack now... and then try to get some sleep... the big day is tomorrow!

Adventures in Moving - part 4

2008-05-13T01:52:44Z

So today on my lunch break I thought it would be a good idea to actually make a list of how many times I have moved, listing the street and city (I've left out the actual address in an attempt to maintain some smidgen of anonymity, as if it makes a difference, really), in order since I was born.

Fun, right?

I even gave my mom a call to help fill in the fuzzy bits (ie before I was 5 or so)... and it would appear that my estimation of having moved forty times in my life, is actually quite a bit less and I am a huge over-exaggerator... but it's still weird and slightly impressive in a strange, sad way... heh.

I think I should finally do what I have intended to do for a while, and go around and snap a photo of each one of these buildings/houses and put together a little scrapbook/coffee table book thing for myself... starting with Grandma's old house on Garth Street, and ending with the house that the boy and I bought... I imagine what all the photos would look like, some of them over-exposed to infer the explosive memories contained therein, some of them dark and grainy, a few of them bright and crisp with sunlight beating down on the roof and lawn, a tire swing hanging from a tree in the yard... I would have the photos printed in high-gloss full colour, and the book would be bound in a tight little stack, and the cover would read "HOME"...

I think it would be a really cathartic experience... I wonder if some of them are even standing still? I'm pretty certain that the house on Poirier street was condemned a few years ago...

Anyway, here is the list! The items that are italicized are when we were technically without a house of our own, and we were mostly sleeping on my mom's friends couches and such; but they were for long enough periods of time that it constituted a move, and sometimes a new school... everything from Nonquon on is after I moved out on my own...

You'll notice that Garth and Paisley are listed twice... Garth is listed a second time to show when my dad moved back in with Grams and Popa when I was little, and since they shared custody at that time, it was a half-move for me... Paisley is listed twice because we moved out, and moved all of our stuff into my mom's friends' house for 6 months before she left Rick and the Doll's dad the first time (insert school change), then moved back in to the townhouse (insert school change) before she left him for good and we uprooted to the other side of the province... Confused yet?

Drumroll please...

Garth St, Guelph
Willow Rd Apartment, Guelph
Waterloo Ave (stayed with Grandpa Herb), Guelph
MacDonell St (with some lady Mom met, above the restaurant), Guelph
Edinborough Rd Apartment, Guelph
Apartment Above Store off London Rd, Guelph
Wellington St, Guelph
Dufferin St, Guelph
Garth St, Guelph
Rosewood Dr, Guelph
Paisley Rd, Guelph
Arthur St, Elmira (Lived with Mom's friend Mandy)
Paisley Rd, Guelph
RR#2 (HWY 41), Shady Nook
Westmeath Rd, Westmeath
Leahey St, Pembroke
Poirier St, Pembroke
Bell St, Pembroke (Lived with Tammy - The Doll's friend's mom and Family)
Lea St, Pembroke
Market St, Pembroke
Second Ave, Pembroke
Metcalfe, Pembroke
Nonquon Dr, Oshawa
Woodlawn Rd, Guelph
Culham Dr, Oakville
Lakeshore Rd, Oakville
Weir Rd, Oakville
Glen Erin Dr Apartment, Mississauga
Winding Tr, Mississauga
Whitelaw Rd, Guelph

I am really hopeful that this move will be the last... that is the plan at least... thirty is too many times for a person to move in their life, and far too many times to have moved in just twenty-five years.

It's time to put down roots.

My Hiding Place

2008-05-13T01:20:11Z

I think the one thing I am going to miss about this house is the shower... not the shower itself... the pressure sucks, and it's just a run-of-mill apartment type bathtub (no good for bubble baths)... but there is a small window in the tub enclosure, and I like taking a nice hot shower with the window open... the cool, fresh air mixing with the steam... it's invigorating... I also like standing in the shower for an extra minute or two, looking out the window, watching the sun rise over the buildings on the horizon, or the leaves on the trees in the courtyard waving and shuttering in the wind... hot water streaming down my back... I breathe in the fresh air, cold on my face, while the hot water warms the rest of my body... such a waste of water (Mr. David Suzuki would not be pleased), but so nice and relaxing...

It's like a nice, warm hiding spot for me... I can just stand there and let the opposing temperatures rush over me, and my mind is clear... it's a good place for thinking... it's also a good place for singing to myself at the top of my lungs while washing away all the tiredness, all the layers of worries and to-do lists that pile up in my mind, rinsing away, down the drain along with the soap and grime...

The shower/tub at the new house does not have a window... it's in a little enclave in the wall of the washroom... there's nothing special about it... same type of shallow, plain tub... standard white tiles... but the fantastic thing is that it will be ours. I'm hoping that in a few years we'll be able to afford to renovate the washroom, and put in a nice deep soaker tub, and some pretty tile on the walls and floor... then I'll be able to have some luxurious, long baths... and I won't miss my window so much...

Adventures in Moving - part 3

2008-05-06T01:25:10Z

I finally got my new hook-ups for my cable, phone, and internet at the new house straightened out today... yaaaay!!

Remember Candice, the supposed miracle worker who was supposed to call me back last week when everything was straightened out? Yeah... well... she never called...

Grrrr... and to think, I had such nice things to say about her!

But luckily today I managed to get through to someone who could help me... and I only had to go through three CSRs before I got Jeremiah, who said "Oh! You've got a consolidated account! You need to talk to a consolidated Rep!" (because I have all my services with Rogers, on one bill), and he put me through to Janine, who fixed the problem in three minutes!

Three minutes people!!!

So, when we move in on the 17th, the cable/internet dude will come to install things, and then our home phone will be installed on the 20th.

Still left to do:

Get mine and the boys cell numbers changed to the new area code
Arrange the electricity hook-up
Arrange the gas hook-up
Transfer the water-softener lease to us
Change my address on my drivers licence, health card, and all other ID stuff
Change my address with the bank, my work, NSLSC, the Canada Revenue Agency, magazine subscription, etc...
Paint the townhouse back to white for the rental company before we leave
Pay land-transfer taxes and title insurance
Actually close on the house and sign all the paperwork
Pack 80% of my belongings

*sigh*

Adventures in Moving – part 2

2008-04-29T03:03:21Z

Apparently I have somehow wreaked havoc on the Rogers accounting system. My account is too complex, and no one is quite sure how to fix it…

*exasperated sigh*

Allow me to start from the beginning… buckle your seatbelts kids… this is a long one…

Two years ago when we first moved into the townhouse, there was an issue with getting a technician out to do our hook-up, as we “didn’t give enough notice” of the move (three weeks… apparently they needed a month to schedule the tech guy), and they only did installs in our area on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and the Thursday before our move-in and the Tuesday after, were already booked... so we were without cable, net, and home phone for nearly a week… this was a very trying period for us, as tech-dependant as we are, and it nearly caused a breakdown on my part due to lack of technological stimulation (slight exaggeration for dramatic effect).

Naturally, I wanted to avoid this happening in the new house, so I called Rogers on April 14th, thinking that surely 33 days was enough notice… apparently it was too much notice, and they can’t schedule work orders more than 30 days in advance… and she as much as called me a liar, saying that there is no way our service disruption was due to a scheduling issue… that their technicians work every day of the week, and there must have been an issue on our end, not their end, and that perhaps I had misunderstood the situation before, but there was nothing she could help me with now, I would have to call back again, and sit on hold for 20 minutes again, and make a new work order, thank you have a great day.

*sigh*

Cue the mild frustration. But I bit my tongue, and said I would call back in 3 days.

So I called back on the 17th, and I spoke to a new CSR, Judd, and let him know that I was moving all my services (Surely having Rogers Cable, Internet, Home Phone, AND two cell phones must make me some kind of VIP customer, right?), and he said hmmm… this is complicated… please hold. So I held… and I held… and eventually he came back, letting me know that he was going to have to get a supervisor involved, because we insisted on keep the switch based phone, and not changing over to the voice-over-internet phone, and it was causing some sort of “illegal combination of products error”. So I held some more. 45 minutes later we concluded that I couldn’t do a normal transfer of services, and instead would have to disconnect my service entirely and put in a request for a new connection at the new house. Not so terrible… I would actually be saving money, because they would give me some promos that only apply to new connections. Sweet. Thanks Judd!

So all was well, and I didn’t give it another thought.

Then on the 22nd we got one of those annoying automated service messages on our voice mail. Apparently Rogers wanted to remind us that they needed access to our house on May 15th for a new connection. Two problems here. First: May 15th is two days before we move in and a full 24hrs before we close and legally take possession of the property. Second: The address the requested access to was our CURRENT address… not the new house. Should I have any questions or concerns I was to call the number provided.

*sigh*

So on the 23rd I called Rogers again… at the number provided… here’s where the fun began… First I got Joe… Joe was new, and couldn’t change work orders… so he bounced me back to the main menu where I entered all my info again, and navigated through to “account changes” and listened to approximately 10 minutes of lively Spanish music… Then I got Kyle… Kyle really wanted to help me, but was not authorized to do so, so he put me through to Angela… Angela informed me that there were many notes on the account, and she would need to review what Judd had put in there before she could proceed, would I please hold?

So I held.

Another 12 minutes of lively music – this time up-beat classical. Angela came back and told me that she can’t change the date on the work order, but she was able to change the address to the new house… she would transfer me to someone who could help me… Cue the hold music!

Next came Adrianna… Adrianna had me repeat the whole story… everything Judd had said and done… and after all that she said she couldn’t change the date on the work order either, as someone was in the account, locking her out… I suggested Angela, perhaps? She told me there was no Angela at her call centre, and that I must have been transferred to her by another centre… and I would need to hold…

So I held for another 7 minutes… and then bam! Back to the main menu without warning… but wait! This menu was different… this was a male sounding automated voice… the last one had been female!

So then I got Usef… Usef was very confused as to how I ended up with him, as he was at the business department… was I calling regarding the business line associated with our number? I said no… that is the Indian Restaurant that used to have our phone number, and the bane of my existence, as we have been receiving weird take-out orders at all hours of the day and night for two years thanks to that phone number… so Usef bounced me back out the Consumers menu, and I was back to square one…

Cue the intense frustration building… So now I got a Joseph… oh how I wished it was the Joe who I originally talked to 45 minutes ago, but alas, it was not… Joseph was unable to help me (of course), and he apologized for the run-around (Thank you Joseph, I know it’s not your fault specifically, but your company sucks), and he transferred me to his supervisor...

And so I ended up with Jim… I asked Jim “Please, can you change dates on work orders? That’s all I need to know”… Jim was not sure what I meant and asked me to repeat my story… and so I did… and then he asked me to hold while he reviewed the notes… about 9 minutes into the hold music (back to the Spanish, for those who care), I decided that I’d had enough, and I was pissed off… and I didn’t want to snap on poor Jim when he came back on the line, so I hung up and went for a walk.

I let myself cool off for the weekend, and decided I would try again today on my lunch break. Instead of calling the 1-800 number that was provided in the automated message, I called the regular 1-888 number that I would regularly call for service… and I got Candice… Candice was very lovely, and polite, and let me know that the reason all this confusion was going on was because I have a switch-system phone, and cable internet, and she can’t make any changes to the account because there is an error in the service that is causing a domino effect with any changes. The problem is that if I have a switch phone, I should be on DSL, not cable. If I have cable internet, I should be on VOIP phone service. Which would I prefer? I let her know that I much prefer the sound quality of switch over voip, but really I’m up for whatever gets the job done and the account straightened out.

She said that she’ll have to delete the existing new-connection order, and re-enter it from the beginning, but her system is shutting down for maintenance in 10 minutes, and it will take her longer than that to do… she offered to call me back tonight when her system was back up, but we have Jamal’s birthday dinner tonight, so we won’t be home… so she’s going to confer with her manager if she can’t figure it out herself, who she assured me is a genius and can solve any problem at all, and call me tomorrow evening after work and let me know that it’s all straightened out.

I’ve decided that I love Candice. I have her employee ID number… I wonder if I can send flowers to a Rogers CSR just based on ID number?

another wasted(?) weekend

2008-04-21T01:47:48Z

pro·cras·ti·nate: verb
- to put off till another day or time; defer; delay; prolong, postpone.

pro·cras·ti·na·tor: noun
- Christine

We close on the new house in 26 days, and I have yet to pack a single box. I know. I have set aside the last two weekends for the specific purpose of sorting through all the crap in the basement and getting a jump on the packing... but I haven't done a thing.

I keep deluding myself, imagining that I will somehow find time to get it all done in the time we have left before moving day, because I am pro at moving (this will be move number 40 after all!), and I am so practised at tucking all my worldly treasures into boxes and uprooting on a moments' notice, that this time will be no different... why would it?

But it is different... we have managed to fill this townhouse with so much stuff (mostly wedding presents - which we are super grateful for!), boxes of things, including appliances, which I have never before in my life owned... this move is going to be a big one...

Maybe I'm putting it off because in my mind, this is it... this is the one! Gone are the days of renting... gone are the days being able to pick up and disappear... no more nomadic criss-crossing of the province for me!

Not that it's a bad thing... not at all! I love our new house... I am super excited to finally be able to knock down a wall if I want to... and I am really looking forward to tearing into that ugly sage carpeting that the current owners have covered the entire upper floor in... but it's also daunting... because as of May 16th, I will officially have my first mortgage... I will be certified grown-up...

scary, no?

So I'm putting things off... I haven't sorted, I haven't packed, and I haven't hauled all the things off to goodwill for donating that I have been meaning to donate since the last time we moved... and I am no where near ready to move... I have let another weekend go by without accomplishing anything I meant to do... instead, here are the things I managed to do this weekend:

1. Take a 3 hour nap on Saturday
2. Convince the boy to order pizza for dinner, in lieu of my having to cook
3. Lay on the sofa, with my head on the boy's lap, watching re-runs of Supermarket Sweep from the 90's
4. Figure out how to insert a header image on here
5. Go to the dog park with Trevor and the boy on Sunday afternoon
6. Grocery shopping for the week
7. Scoop the litter box
8. Whine and complain about not having accomplished anything

Try again next weekend? Except, I have to go to a tupperware party on Saturday (oh, how it frightens me that I am becoming a person who attends tupperware parties and has a mortgage)...

*sigh*

Yaaaay!

2008-04-20T18:04:45Z

I figured out how to change the header image!

Also - I suck at html, so this is a big deal for me!

Yaaaaay!

So, after wasting far too much time on that, I'm going to go run around in the sun with my dog for a while now.

Success! Sort of...

2008-04-17T03:28:53Z

So it would appear that I cannot change my username, which is part of the url, unless I pay a nominal fee ($15)... and I am cheap, so I think I will be satisfied with changing the title of the journal only... for now.

Perhaps I will try out a few titles, and layouts, and themes, until I'm ready to commit... and then I might spring for the name change token...

I can't find one of the pre-fab themes that I really like, so I'm going to stick with this one for now... until I make use of my super-expensive education, and uber-expensive software and actually produce an original masthead and coordinating layout... sound good?

good.

Let's just consider things "under construction" or "in transition" until further notice! (much like my life at present... yay!)

And now I am off to bed... because 6am comes early... *yawn*

What's in a name?

2008-04-17T02:10:12Z

I think I want to change the name of my livejournal/blog/thingy... It's been four years, and I just feel like I've fallen out of love with Chrissielicious... to be honest, I feel as though it sounds, maybe, a tad juvenile... not sure that's the word... but I feel like I've outgrown it, and I'm not the girl I was, back in college, when Miss Tara and I started keeping livejournals together... I don't know... wow, this is quite the run on sentence... I wonder if all the elipsises/elipsis/elipsii? make it any less obnoxious....

I suppose not.

I wonder if it's even possible to change my name... and if so, how would I do so? And more importantly... what should I change it to?

...

I think I am going to go get a super lolly and explore my account options.

Words

2008-04-04T03:38:23Z

I have abandoned the x365 thing (hence the deleting of all the posts)... I was crap at it... I was really excited and interested in it for the first week or so, but then I lost steam... I thought it would have been a great way to actually get interested in writing again, but like most of my quasi-creative efforts of late, I couldn't do it...

I thought it would be cathartic, and would help me to examine each of the relationships that I have had (however fleeting) with all of these people... particularly all of the ones I left behind when I made that decision so many years ago to make a clean break and begin again... the collateral damage from the end of the Durham days... but I just couldn't get the words right...

I was reading all these fantastic and poetic things that everyone else had to say... and I was thinking how interesting and moving these things were... I found myself identifying with them so much, so I was taking their ideas, their titles for the posts, or the wording phrasing of sentences that said the things I wished I could express, and I was trying to adapt them to my own experiences, and my own people... and I got called on it.

I don't think I really even realized how little 'adapting' I was doing... and how similar the posts came out sounding... but after going back and comparing, it was pretty obvious... I suppose I can be a little thick...

So I have deleted all the posts, and I am coming clean about what a crap writer I really am...

So there you have it.

Beautiful Words

2008-04-02T16:07:20Z

I was reading one of the blogs that I visit every-so-often, and I was really moved by what she wrote today. She is certainly more eloquent than I, and has managed to capture exactly how I've been feeling lately in her post today.

Here it is:

"I am sitting alone in my almost uncomfortably cold bedroom as I write this. Pipi is sitting on the heater continuing her daily eyeball war with the pigeons and trying to stay warm at the same time. Rain is falling outside and the sky is grey. It’s quiet today. I’ve been reading the words of others and the taste of sadness and heartbreak is acrid on my tongue. Even at it’s most despairing, I am grateful for the sense of interconnectedness that this life sometimes brings. It’s the only good I can find in the slap in the face reminder of the tragedy that exists in the lives of others. I’m thinking about all the time I spend wondering why I can’t just be whole, about all the time I spend thinking about why I can’t be comprised of something other, something better, than my own back story. And I am reminded, once again, that I am no different to anyone else. The heaviness I sometimes feel, that weight, is not unique to me. Trite as it may be, I’m thinking that perhaps we are all just plastering the cracks, pulling ourselves up and out of the black, rising above, suppressing down, squinting towards the light trying to blur the darkness at the corners of our vision. Right now I’m wondering at the fucking courage it takes to wake up to the day after, the courage it takes to allow yourself to laugh again or even to smile. After all, it really isn’t life that goes on, it is each of us. We each go on. We each endure. Every conversation that I have had lately, and everything that I have read, has led me to think that not one of us is as alone as we each think we are."

- Taken from the Happy Misfit

groggy mcgroggersons...

2008-01-01T02:48:00Z

so it looks like I am officially going to ring in the new year with a severe sinus infection and a case of laryngitis... fun, right? I feel horrible, and I sound like a teen boy going through puberty...

earlier today, when my voice was particularly husky sounding (a brief respite from the squeaking), the boy said I sounded like a cross between Sade, and Iman...

I'm sure that is not a good thing...

I am going to go curl up on the sofa with a blankie now... and some tea... and the boy... and wait for 2008 to quietly begin...

An open letter to you...

2007-12-09T02:29:01Z

I need you to know what you mean to me... I need you to know that I need you... so much... I've never needed another person the way that I need you... I am convinced that if you were not in my life any longer, I would simply cease to be...

You came into my life at a time when I was complete mess... I had no direction, and nothing to offer... and you still wanted me... just me.

You've stood beside me through so much... you've held my hand when I needed your support, and held me up when I needed a little more... you've made me laugh, and laughed along with me... you continue to build me up and help light my way, but still keep me humble, and help me to make every day count... you give me hope, and help me trust...

When it's just the two of us, and I'm wrapped up in your arms, and you look at me in that way that only you do, it is then that I am completely at peace.

It is there, in our bed, or on our sofa, all wrapped up in each other, or just walking down the street holding hands, and you touch my face, or tickle me "just because", that I know for sure that this is it...

this is love.

<3

Trevor Beans Tiberious Meliton Esq.

2007-12-08T02:33:40Z

Best. Face. Ever.

Steady now...

2007-10-26T14:34:23Z

There's a line in this song that always gets me... it's so simple, yet it really resonates with me...

"I remember all the feelings, and the day they stopped..."

It's true... the anxiety is gone... I just don't feel it anymore... I don't think about everything that happened anymore... I don't wonder what I could have done differently, or how I should have changed things, and I don't wish that things had gone "better"... I don't feel guilt, or pity, or anger... I don't miss them... And I don't feel a fleeting sense of superiority either...

I remember feeling all of these things at different times, and all at once on occasion, but I feel separate from them now... like I can take them in my hand and look at them... like I can objectively say, yes, this happened, and I felt trapped, and I felt out of control, and I felt contempt... and I laid blame... and I ran... and all of that is a part of me, but it doesn't define me, and it doesn't weigh on me anymore... no more nagging what ifs...

I suppose that means I'm happy... I suppose that makes me content with who I am, and where I am, and what I have accomplished, and what I have yet to complete, and where I am headed... and that is good.

It feels like I have a clearer direction of where I am going, and what I want... I feel warm, and whole, and steady... I feel prepared.

Walk-In Clinics suck...

2007-10-26T00:51:53Z

I hate waiting for 2 hours to see a doctor... blah.

Sooo... I am indeed sick... no prescription... just told to take whatever, over the counter, let it run it's course...

And I'm not preggers, so I'm good to take whatever concoction my heart desires...

I have decided to start taking a daily multivitamin with extra Folic Acid... that way I will feel more prepared when we do start actually actively trying, that I am going to grow a good neural tube for my future bebeh... :o)

So Sick...

2007-10-26T00:49:52Z

Worst. Cold. Ever.

I feel like death warmed over... ugh... and it's been almost a week... a week like this people!
Sinus congestion... chest congestion... fever... chills... aching throat... every time I swallow, the pain runs up my glands and in my ear... the aches and pains throughout my body are kicking my ass... my back is stiff and my ribs are throbbing from the coughing... and I have become a snot generating machine... this is gross... and truly, truly awful...

I need my bed... *whimper*

And on top of it all, I don't want to take anything, because I'm almost 2 weeks late, and well... if I do happen to have a person inside me, I don't want to screw them up... oy... guess I better drag my ass to a doctor's office soon...

We did the mash...

2007-10-26T00:48:05Z

Tish's annual Halloween Shindig was last night in Stratford... much fun! Particularly when Eric got into an Air Guitar battle with a mime... lol

It's the final countdown...

2007-10-26T00:41:05Z

We're at less than 48 hours to go! This week has been quite busy, and quite stressful at times... I definitely pull my share of late-night wedding prep extravaganzas... between carving pumpkins and wiring and wrapping flowers for bouquets, to tying ribbons on programs and place cards, I have developed the claw!!

I can barely open my right hand... I think I'm going to go soak it in some nice hot water now...

*groan*

Anyway... here are some of the fruits of my labour:

To be bespectacled... or not bespectacled...

2007-10-04T02:41:13Z

My current worry...

I like it both ways... I am torn... arg...